Life was never promised to be easy, yet God can provide peace in the midst of our “wilderness wanderings” when we choose to follow His leading.
I lay in the bathtub with a glass of “sleepy water” in hand, ruminating over yet another 14 hour day of teaching, cooking, cleaning, and parenting two overly active children (one of whom has multiple special needs) to no avail.
My frustration nearly spills over in the form of built up tears as discouragement and disappointment grip my heart for the millionth time. After trying my best to patiently keep it together all day I lost my temper and yelled at my son, ruined dinner, and allowed bitterness to creep in and lodge where it doesn’t belong.
Some days I feel like a complete failure as a mom, wife, and follower of Christ. Thankfully, we serve a gracious God who doesn’t write us off because of our shortcomings, flaws, and failures. Instead He uses life’s struggles to humble, teach, and refine us all the while gently revealing to us that He’s never been after perfection. Jesus already took care of that for us.
He’s after our hearts—our trust, obedience, and full dependence on Him.
Wandering in the Wilderness
After a notably rough morning with my son recently, I sat down to read my Bible. I’d started in Genesis a few months prior and just so happened to land on Deuteronomy 2 that day, Israel’s wilderness years. It was if the words leapt off the page straight into my heart.
For the Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He knows your going through this great wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you. You have lacked nothing.
Deuteronomy 2:7 ESV
As I read those words, a wave of comfort washed over me. For it seemed as if He were saying…
Daughter, I have not abandoned your family, but I am allowing you to wander in the wilderness for now. I have seen every tear you’ve shed and every crushing blow to your heart. These past five years of pain, loneliness, and exhaustion that you’ve experienced as you navigate the struggles of special needs parenting didn’t catch Me by surprise. Keep following Me and trust where I am leading you.
Although God doesn’t always provide what we want, He will faithfully provide what we need.
God has promised to supply our needs. What we don’t have now we don’t need now.
Elisabeth Elliot
In this season of life He has chosen not to gift our family with clarity, answers, healing, or steady progress. Instead, He’s provided finances to cover the cost of multiple diagnostic tests, surgeries, medicine, supplements, resources, therapies, and doctor’s appointments.
He’s blessed my husband and I with a strong marriage to weather these storms side by side.
And He’s created a special bond between my husband, daughter, son, and I as we navigate these daily challenges together.
In His wisdom He knows that these are the things we need. Anything more isn’t what is best for us right now.
It is not what I would choose, but His ways are so much higher and greater than my own. I rest in the fact that His love for my sweet boy and our family is deeper than I can ever fathom, and I am grateful for the splashes of joy He sprinkles down on us right in the midst of the chaos.
Related: TRUSTING GOD IN DIFFICULT TIMES: 4 REMINDERS TO CLING TO WHEN LIFE IS HARD
WHEN GOD IS SILENT: 4 THINGS TO DO WHEN YOUR PRAYERS GO UNANSWERED
Trust and Obey During Life’s Wilderness Wanderings
As I think upon the fate of the Israelites I am reminded that all along they knew of the promised land. Entering was simply a matter of obedience and God’s perfect timing. All along He was leading them to a rich and beautiful land full of abundant resources, a place where they could discover true peace and rest.
So you shall keep the commandments of the Lord your God by walking in his ways and by fearing him. For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing out in the valleys and hills, a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive trees and honey, a land in which you will eat bread without scarcity, in which you will lack nothing, a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills you can dig copper. And you shall eat and be full, and you shall bless the Lord your God for the good land he has given you.
Deuteronomy 8:6-10
Friend, if, like me, you feel as if you’re in a phase of “wilderness wanderings” please take heart. God knows the yearnings of your soul and He hears your pleas. Remember, He didn’t leave His children wandering forever. Let’s walk in His ways and stand in awe of His goodness and grace.
Whether or not our “promised land” comes in the form of answered prayers this side of Heaven or a glorious eternity spent with our Savior… I know that it will come.
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