Searching For Mr. Right: An Open Letter To The Girl Looking For Love

Made To Love

I have yet to meet anyone who doesn’t crave love. We long to give it as well as receive it. We were created with a strong desire for love because we were made in the image of God who is the very essence of love. However, I sometimes think we have forgotten or maybe don’t fully understand it’s true meaning.

Dictionary.com defines love as “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.”

Although I do agree with this definition, it pales in comparison to our Creator’s:

“Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a).

A more beautiful description simply doesn’t exist.

In a perfect sinless world this would be the kind of love we would all know.

However, in the lost and hurting world we actually live in very few ever get to experience it. I have seen so many loved ones completely broken after a failed relationship, and I know that it breaks God’s heart to see so many hurting. It doesn’t have to be this way.

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A Change In Pursuit

Friend, this may go against other advice you are getting, but I’d like to encourage and challenge you to take a break from dating or pursuing a relationship for a while. Instead, please take the time to really get to know the man who has already given you everything. I’m praying that you fall in love with Him.

You may have heard it said before, but it is so true that only in Christ will we ever be fully satisfied and at peace. We were designed to have an intimate relationship with our Creator. He specifically made us so that we would crave the love that only He can give.

As part of a fallen world even the best love we have to offer is still tainted by sin. Pair that with the unrealistic expectations of how we expect someone else to love us in return and we are bound to be disappointed.

The Newlywed Epiphany

As a young newlywed I struggled to understand why my husband wasn’t fully meeting my needs. We were so in love and everything was supposed to be perfect! At the time he was working long hours and was pretty exhausted when he came home. Our time together no longer consisted of date night after date night and to top it off I now had the added responsibility of taking care of our home too, which I did enjoy, but this also took away from the usual relaxing down time with him I was used to. This lack of time together wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. 

It took some time but I eventually figured out that #1 Marriage takes work and there are a lot of adjustments to be made. #2 We both married a sinner. And #3 My husband isn’t capable of nor is he meant to satisfy all of my needs.

A Perfect Love

The only one ever able to fully complete us is our Maker.

His love is a perfect, compassionate, humble, sacrificial, forgiving, and holy love.  

The kind that offers us unexplainable peace in the midst of sorrow (Philippians 4:7).

The kind that comforts us when despair and anxiety grip our hearts (Psalm 147:3)

The kind that gives us hope when it seems as though all hope is lost (Romans 15:13).

The kind that offers us grace and mercy when we deserve the complete opposite. (Ephesians 2:4-5,8-9)

The kind that wants to take away our burdens and give us rest (Matthew 11:28).

Please don’t settle for what the world has to offer.

Finding The Right Man

All of that to say that finding the right man, in His perfect timing, isn’t wrong by any means. He created marriage after all and it can be a beautiful thing. My marriage isn’t perfect, because my husband and I are far from perfect ourselves, but  I’m so thankful that I have him to walk by my side and do life with. He is still my very best friend and after nearly 10 years together my love for him only grows deeper with each passing year. He makes me smile like no other.  

When two people look at marriage as an opportunity to love and serve one another, it is truly beautiful and words don’t do it justice!  I want to encourage you that there are still solid men out there. Please don’t settle or compromise your convictions. I’m a firm believer that if you have a desire to marry someday then God put that desire in your heart and can give you wisdom to lead you to the right man, in His perfect time.

A Love To Make You Whole

Friend, I don’t want to see you hurt or deceived. We will never find perfect love this side of Heaven. I am asking you to make a decision to do things differently and look to the one who died to be your Savior. His love is greater than anything you have ever known and He alone can make you whole.

And going back to that perfect and sinless world full of perfect love, that’s the one you were created for.