6 Reasons Our Kids Are Walking Away From The Faith (and what we can do about it)

When I think back to my naïve younger self hoping and dreaming about the future I am reminded of the stark contrast between my youthful expectations and the reality I am now living.

My grandiose ideas of a blissful marriage to the perfect man while raising compliant angelic children in a safe, cozy, and beautiful world didn’t exactly come to pass.

I now understand that the carefree life I always imagined was simply that- a figment of my imagination that could never come to fruition while living in a broken and sin cursed world.

Please hear me when I say that I am incredibly grateful for the many blessings that surround me. God has been so kind in giving me a wonderful husband (who is still my best friend) and two amazing children. But I never imagined all of the trials. I never imagined the heartache. And I certainly never imagined raising children in such a confused and dark culture.

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I’d venture to guess that I’m not the only parent out there who fears for their children and the many voices and influences that surround them. Do you ever wonder how we got here? What has happened in the last couple of decades that would warrant such a huge shift?

The effects of the culture are seeping into our churches and Christian families like never before. According to recent research an alarming 64% of young adults who were brought up in a Christian home walk away from the faith upon entering college.

Why?

6 Reasons Kids Walk Away From The Faith

There may be multiple factors at play when it comes to the reasons kids leave the faith, but I’m certain that most of those reasons are a direct result of our parenting.

We’ve forgotten that these sweet gifts we’ve been given are exactly that- gifts from our Creator to raise for His glory. Ultimately our children belong to their Maker who, for now, has graciously entrusted them into our care.

May we do all we can to point them back to Him.

1. We Are Distracted and Busy

Beloved missionary and author Elisabeth Elliot is quoted as saying “The devil has made it his business to monopolize on three elements: noise, hurry, crowds. He will not allow quietness.”

Noise, hurry, and crowds seem to define the life of the average family living in the 21^st century. We are living in a fast paced, technology driven society and We. Are. Busy. People. Work, school, extra-curricular activities, commitments, errands, cooking, cleaning, hobbies, social media, cell phones… We are busy and distracted and many of us are clueless of the toll it’s taking on our families.

Our enemy knows that if he can keep us with a mile long to do list and a million distractions along the way then we won’t have any time to think upon what truly matters. In fact we may even begin to view what truly matters as inconvenient interruptions.

Before we realize it family time, giggles around the dinner table, bedtime questions and deep conversations, connection, correction, discipline, and sharing the beauty of the gospel gets lost in the shuffle.

Sweet friend, I’d like to encourage you to take a good hard look at your priorities and examine your own heart. Many of the things we’ve deemed essential can easily be taken off of our to-do list. And many of the distractions we allow to steal our time were never worth our time in the first place.

Your children will soon be grown and gone. Please redeem the time you have left. It is truly precious.

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2. We focus more on outward behavior than heart issues

God graciously taught my husband and I early on in our parenting journey (through the gift of two strong willed children) the importance of aiming for our children’s hearts with our correction instead of being content with outward behavior.

As a parent it can be tempting to desire our children’s compliance and obedience without ever digging any deeper into the struggles of their heart. Please don’t make the mistake of glossing over your children’s sin because they seem to have it all together on the outside.

Ask questions, share truth, pray together, come along side of them to speak God’s wisdom into their life. Then be an example, love, lead, correct, discipline, and disciple them.

3. Our children aren’t being taught to think for themselves

I cannot speak for every educational institution, but as a whole our primary schools and colleges are teaching our children a lot of things… except for how to think and make calculated decisions for themselves. Many in this field have strong beliefs that they desire to place upon impressionable young minds.

Once upon a time children were taught both sides of an equation then encouraged to use logic and dig into the facts to discover truth. Nowadays they are often taught only one side and made to feel foolish if they believe anything else.

Our children are being taught from a very young age that life spontaneously erupted out of nothing. Although this may not seem like a big deal to some, this thought process leads to the belief that there is no ultimate truth. No right or wrong. No morality. And no real value of human life.

Our job as parents is to lovingly point our children to truth while encouraging them to use the beautiful gift of their minds to their full capacity.

4. The lies of the culture are luring them astray

Our hearts are naturally bent towards sin. If we aren’t using logic, common sense, and thinking for ourselves, we are more susceptible to believe anything thrown our way especially if it appeals to our sinful flesh. “You have your truth and I have mine.” “Do whatever makes you feel good.” “Follow your heart.” The lines of objective vs. subjective truth have become incredibly blurred and the lies of the culture are luring our children astray.

It is our job as parents to protect our children’s hearts from the deceptions of the world around them while also teaching them how to guard their own hearts and wholeheartedly pursue truth.

When we are faithfully seeking, God is more than faithful to reveal Himself (Jeremiah 29:13).

5. We aren’t pouring truth into our kids

Chapter 6 of Deuteronomy was an eye opener for me as a new mother. According to God’s Word it isn’t enough for us as parents to simply teach our children about the existence of God, attend church, read a Bible verse here and there, pray before meals and bedtime, and call it a day. A genuine love for our Savior will result in so much more.

We should be so overwhelmed by the amazing grace and love of Christ that sharing His truths naturally flows out of our hearts in our everyday conversations with our children.

We can share God’s promises when our children are hurting.

Share of His faithfulness and provision in the past.

Share specific answered prayers that show the incredible love He holds for each of us.

Share about the detailed intricacy of nature with obvious elements of design that point to a Creator.

We can pray together throughout the day as trials arise or praise Him in the joyful moments.

And we can faithfully share about the Man who died in our place to offer us a precious gift of grace.

When our heart is fixed on our Savior we will naturally speak of Him as a result.

6. They’ve been taught a watered down gospel and see no need for a Savior

There has been a major shift in recent years of churches seeking to entertain people to get them in the doors rather than genuinely desiring to share the beauty of the gospel. This decision is also impacting our children.

When our kids grow up hearing the message “Jesus loves you.” “You’re brave, beautiful, and strong”. “Let’s have a pizza party.” they begin to look at Jesus as nothing more than an option to be added to life or discarded.

When we stop sharing the heart piercing truth of our sin nature and complete depravity before a holy God our children lose sight of why they need a Redeemer in the first place.

Yes, God does love our children with an all-consuming unconditional love. I’ll be the first to say that children are incredible human beings, but God’s love for them is not dependent upon anything they have to offer Him. It is entirely all of grace.

“…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8

Friend, when our children breathe their last breath it won’t matter if they were all-star athletes, honors students, or “good kids”. All that will matter is what they did with the love of Jesus they grew up hearing about. Did they humbly repent and follow Him as Lord and Savior or did they believe themselves to be good enough on their own?

If you feel like you have failed your children in this area, please know our God is good and He is patient. He offers much grace.

Please seek His wisdom in raising these sweet gifts. There is still time and there is still hope.

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”-C.S. Lewis