Raising A Strong Willed Child: 4 Unexpected Blessings To Change Your Perspective

4 Unexpected blessings of raising a strong willed child to change your perspective of the parenting trials.

My desire to begin a parenting blog had absolutely nothing to do with me being an expert on the subject. I have certainly not mastered the art of child rearing. I’m just a sinner saved by grace learning some sweet truths along the way.

My purpose in writing is to encourage others on their parenting journey and point them to the One who can actually give them genuine peace, comfort, and wisdom.

Raising A Strong Willed Child

And so today, I’m writing this in the midst of a difficult parenting phase. I’m writing as a mom who is overwhelmed, exhausted, and in need of a breakthrough. Or maybe just in need of a break period.  Raising strong willed children can be downright hard….

And at the same time an incredible blessing.

I often mention to God that I’m pretty sure He intended to gift my husband and I with a couple of angelic compliant children. He, however, is graciously teaching me why He chose the opposite. And I am learning to accept His ways even when I do not fully understand the “whys”.

I am learning to view my children’s iron wills as blessings in disguise.

4 Blessings Of Parenting Strong Willed Children

1. Their Heart Struggles Are Openly Exposed

Proverbs 4:23 says “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” The decisions we make in life flow directly from what is already taking place inside of our hearts. Although we don’t often look at it this way, theft, murder, adultery etc. are all struggles of the heart before they become outwardly acted upon.

Our strong willed children rarely see a need to hide these struggles, which gives us an open window into their hearts.

Please take a minute to see the beauty in this.

We clearly know their strengths and weaknesses which means that we also know exactly how to best pray for them. A compliant child may be just as inwardly rebellious as a strong willed child, BUT they seek to hide it, because life is easier that way or they are simply seeking to please those around them.

A strong willed child, however, bares all providing us a crystal clear picture of their emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual needs. The natural bent of our hearts is to selfishly give in to sin which only continues to harden our hearts and push us away from the forgiveness and grace that can make us whole.

Please do not downplay the importance of dropping to your knees on a regular basis to pray for the precious children God has entrusted into your care.

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2. They Have No Fear

Fearless children are often times very trying children. They know our limits and find satisfaction in pushing us to the max. But here’s the thing. Have you ever thought about how these same character flaws- the ones that currently leave you exasperated, worried, and beyond frustrated- can actually be turned into admirable character traits if they’re molded and guided correctly?

Have you thought about how this fearless defiance that you currently deal with on a regular basis can one day transition into courageous leadership?

If we are faithful to raise our children for God’s glory and they are willing to humble themselves to allow Him to get ahold of their hearts, God can use these children mightily to take a stand in a world that is quickly drifting away from Him.

A Strong Willed Daughter

We knew from the moment our daughter was born that she was a strong willed child. Seven years into our parenting journey we’ve never second guessed it. She has a sweet and bubbly personality, a contagious laughter, and an IRON WILL that she enjoys exerting on an almost daily basis.

My daughter is a genuine joy, but her days of determination and defiance have a tendency to wear on us. Thankfully mixed in with her strong willed nature is also a compassionate heart that propels her to do things that many wouldn’t have the courage to do.

While playing at the park a few weeks ago she mentioned to my husband her desire to share the gospel with the children on the playground. A few minutes later she had gathered up some children and invited them to sit down so she could share Jesus with them! Sharing the gospel with strangers at the park is something that I still struggle with and yet here was my daughter eagerly seizing an opportunity to share hope with those around her.

I told her afterwards how proud I was of her for her desire to share the hope of Jesus with them. She seemed a little confused and just replied “Mommy, that was so easy.” She wasn’t being proud. She simply knew that as believers, this is something that we should all be doing. And we should be doing it with joy.

My prayer is to have the same kind of love for the souls around me and boldness in sharing my faith, as my little girl. I am grateful that God so often uses our children to convict and encourage us along the way.

I share this with you to show you what God can do with a strong will. There is a whole lot of beauty in it that we often overlook during the difficult formative years. Thankfully God can give us tiny glimpses of His being at work in our children’s lives to keep us plugging along.

Related posts: What Does The Bible Say About Parenting?

5 Tips For Parenting The Strong Willed Child

3. The Trials of Raising A Strong Willed Child Help to Reveal Our Own Areas of Sin

Although we’d hate to admit it I’m pretty sure that the majority of us are guilty of playing the blame game with our children. We may think to ourselves “I wouldn’t have snapped if they hadn’t defied me for the 10^th time today and exasperated me beyond measure”. When in reality the simple truth is that we wouldn’t have snapped if there wasn’t sin dwelling inside of our hearts.

Remember, the pressures of life merely draw out of our hearts what is already there. Those pressures themselves don’t create anything. The parenting trials that we experience have a tendency to squeeze out of our own hearts areas of sin that we often don’t even realize we’re still struggling with.

We can easily allow this truth to discourage us OR we can look at is as a gracious God attempting to refine us into becoming more like His Son. It isn’t until the gold is heated that it becomes truly purified.

4. The Hardships Force Us To Accept Our Limitations and Need of A Savior

I never ever thought that I was a controlling person- until I became a mom of two VERY strong willed children who have a mind of their own.

In my mind I continually justify my desire to control my children. It is for their own good… all I want is for them to be kind, gentle, compassionate, humble children who love Jesus. And for them to actually behave and use their manors when we’re in the presence of company, instead of running around bursting with energy like the energizer bunny.

Although my heart is (9 times out of 10) in the right place, my desire to be in control will never be right.

My job as their mother is to love, guide, correct, encourage, teach, and discipline my children. It is not to force them to conform to my wants and expectations.

God has uniquely created and gifted each of them with certain abilities, talents, and strengths. And also given them a free will to make their own decisions- yes, decisions that will have consequences, but decisions that are not mine to make.

God’s Grace Is Sufficient

Raising strong willed children is teaching me that, ultimately, I am not in control of much of anything.

I am a sinner who still struggles in my weak areas.

I am in desperate need of a Savior.

Friend, we serve an incredibly good God who has graciously decided that some of us can benefit from parenting strong willed children. He is the Creator and we are His creation. He is the potter and we are the clay.

His wisdom is beyond understanding.

I’d like to encourage you to take a moment right now to pray for wisdom in raising your children. And then thank God for purposely creating your son or daughter with a strong will. It was not by mistake.

Yes, raising a strong willed child is challenging, but God can use it all for our good and His glory if we are faithful to wholeheartedly pursue Him and follow His leading. We can safely rest in His grace when we don’t have the strength to carry on and trust in His goodness when we lack the answers we are craving. God is good. All. The. Time.