Raising A Godly Daughter: 8 Tips For Parenting God’s Way

8 Tips for raising a godly daughter while living in a self-saturated world.

It was a typical weekday morning more than seven years ago. My three year old daughter was struggling to control her emotions, so I calmly instructed her to go to her bedroom to settle down. After she continually stomped out refusing to obey, I walked her back inside and closed the door behind me.

All was quiet for a moment until I was startled by an incredibly loud banging noise. Upon opening her door I was shocked to discover that my petite three year old had taken her Playschool desk chair and smashed a hole in her door! (While somehow also finding enough time to scribble all over her wall with a spare crayon!)

It was in this very moment that I realized how ill-qualified I was to raise this little human in my own strength. Three years of loving, leading, correcting, guiding, and disciplining my sweet girl to the very best of my ability and I was still managing to fall short on a near daily basis.

My efforts weren’t producing the fruit I craved and all of my hopes of raising a compliant, angelic, little lady were completely dashed to pieces.

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(This post was originally published in May 2020 and was updated and republished in March 2024.)

Raising A Godly Daughter

I love my daughter more than I even knew was humanly possible. She is an incredible blessing and brings so much joy to our family. Yes, the aspects of loving, nurturing, and teaching her have been instinctive. However, the trials of disciplining and training a strong will bring me to my knees on a continual basis.

Ten years into this journey I’m certain that God gave me my sweet girl and her strong will to remind me of my desperate need for Him. I realize that I am incapable of being the mother she needs in my own strength.

I need God’s guidance, wisdom, grace, patience, and strength if I am to raise her for His glory. My daughter is an undeserved blessing straight from the hands of my Heavenly Father and the very least I can do is to do my best to raise her in a way that will honor Him.

To Raise A Christian Daughter We Must Continually Share God’s Truths With Her

I never imagined that I would be raising my daughter during a time of so much uncertainty and confusion. The culture around us will tell my daughter that she needs to dress a certain way, look a certain way and have the nicest things to be of any value.

This world will try to convince her to put herself first, follow her heart, and do whatever makes her happy regardless of the consequences of her actions or how she may hurt others in the process.

In order for my daughter to be shielded from the lies of the world, she must consistently be hearing solid truth.

She needs to hear these truths from me.

It is my responsibility to raise her right. Not the church’s responsibility. Not the school’s responsibility. It is not the responsibility of her grandparents or her peers. It is mine and my husband’s responsibility and privilege.

To raise Christian daughters we must teach them strong values and Biblical truths to solidify their faith. If we don’t, the world around them will have no problem teaching them the very opposite.

How To Raise Godly Daughters While Living in a Self-Saturated World

To raise godly children in the 21^st century we must faithfully seek God’s wisdom. Christian parenting is about much more than physical provision and making our kids happy.

Raising a godly daughter means we need to dig a little deeper to nourish her heart and soul.

1. Teach Her To Serve

It is a beautiful thing to cherish our children. However, it is also very easy for our momma hearts to create an idol out of these sweet gifts we’ve been given. The idea of indulging our little girl with whatever she’d like and turning a blind eye to her disobedience will only cause her to imagine that the world revolves around her. Not only is this of no benefit to her, it’s the perfect scenario for a myriad of problems down the road.

What if instead, we teach her that we’re all created equal in the image of God? And that He actually created us to serve one another and put other’s needs before our own? Although society may look at this idea as a bit backwards, our Creator knew what He was doing when He designed the human heart.

By serving others we learn to value, respect, and ultimately love them. We learn that there’s a whole lot of joy that comes from denying ourselves in order to help someone else.

In one sense the entire gospel can be summed up by a single act of service. Jesus humbled Himself to come into this world and live among us so He could experience our hurts and trials. His entire ministry was based upon serving others and sharing an eternal hope with a world that desperately needed it. He willingly laid down His life to take our place and offer us a free gift of grace.

As we seek to raise up godly daughters let’s teach them the beauty of placing others before ourselves.

2. Teach Her Her Worth In Christ

I’m certain that every single culture and time period throughout history has had certain ways of measuring one’s worth. The fact is that I’m not okay with how our own society measures this.

My daughter’s worth will never be dependent upon how many heads she can turn.

How intelligent she is.

How many laughs she can get.

How well liked she is.

How much money she makes.

Or how high she climbs the corporate ladder.

Her worth is found in the one who died to be her Savior. And He says that she is worthy simply because He created her. In His image. And He loves her unconditionally.

Although my daughter, myself, nor anyone else for that matter will ever be deserving of the love that Christ has to offer, the simple truth is that He chose to love us anyways. It is through no merit of our own. And he would choose to do it over and over again.

Our sin marred His perfect plan, but He still chooses to pursue us and offer us forgiveness if we will humbly repent and accept his gift of salvation.

3. Know That It Is Okay To Be Her Best Friend

I’ve heard it said before that parents should never be their child’s best friend (at least in the formative years). I understand their intentions in making this statement, but I strongly disagree.

No, we do not need to coddle our children and cater to their every desire. Being our child’s best friend does not undermine our role as a parent or lesson our authority in the home. On the contrary, I firmly believe that this special bond will only help our relationship grow stronger.

Who else is better suited to give your daughter advice, approval, and comfort than you- the one who loves her more than anyone? I would much rather my daughter come to me when she is hurting, confused, pressured, or overwhelmed than  for her to run to a peer who is struggling with the same issues and doesn’t yet have the wisdom to help.

God, in His wisdom, has given us as parents, life experience and wisdom ourselves so that we can help guide our children in the right direction. My mom has been my best friend since my early teenage years and her guidance and wisdom remain an amazing blessing.

To raise Christian daughters with a genuine heart for Jesus we’ve got to have a strong connection and open arms. Be your daughter’s best friend. You will be blessed because of it.

4. Understand The Weight Of Our Responsibility In Raising Her

We are busy people. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the day to day activities and responsibilities of motherhood. All too often, without even realizing it, we begin to neglect the weightier matters of life.

The truth is that 100 years from now it’s not going to matter if my daughter enjoyed a spotless home and well-rounded meals growing up. It won’t matter if her 11th birthday party was a smashing success or if she graduated with honors…

What will matter is how she lived her life. How she viewed people and the world around her. What she decided to do with the love of Jesus she grew up hearing about.

Friend, we’ve got to stop being so busy. Sports are fun. Musical talent is great. Extracurricular activities have their place, but none of these can replace intentional time spent with our children.

Seeing God work, deep conversations, laughs around the dinner table, family game nights… We’re missing out on what is most important and our children will soon be grown and gone.

5. Realize The Importance Of Her Father’s Role

Although God designed our roles as mother and father to complement one another, we also each have unique responsibilities. As a mother I can love, nurture, teach and correct my daughter to the very best of my ability, but there is something I can never do.

I can never take the place of her father.

Our children are created with an innate desire to seek love, affection, and affirmation from their dad. As females we crave the ability to feel safe and protected. We want to be guided by a man who can lead us with courage and bravery. To be loved by a father who knows how to be strong, kind and gentle all at the same time.

When this father figure is absent from the home, many girls will inevitably go seeking it elsewhere and very rarely is this healthy.

To the Father Seeking to Raise a Christian Daughter— Really See Her.

To all of the dads out there I’d like to encourage and challenge you to really see your daughter. Put her needs before your own. Lay aside the distractions and carve out some specific one on one time for her.

Make her smile.

Make her laugh.

Teach her.

Love her.

Discipline her when necessary.

Be an example to her.

Let her know that you will be the one to keep her heart safe until she marries a worthy man. 

Although I’m in my late 30s now, my dad is still the one I go to when I have a question about life. He’s still the one I feel the need to impress and seek the approval of.

To the single mothers out there, please know that you are not alone. God sees you and He can give so much grace. He desires to give you the wisdom to lovingly raise and lead your daughter while protecting her heart.

Ultimately, what she needs most (as well as all the rest of us) is a Heavenly Father to lead and love her… which He delights to do if we will only learn to trust Him.   

6. Accept That She Is A Gift That Doesn’t Truly Belong To You

This is a hard one for me. As a stay at home mom I’ve pretty much devoted the last several years of my life to taking care of my children. It is so easy for me to begin to idolize them at times. To be consumed with their wants and desires. To mistakenly assume that their entire existence depends upon me and become fearful and anxious when situations are out of my control.

Mommas, we must learn to see our children as a gift. They are given to us to lovingly train up and prepare for the world around them. And then one day they will leave us.

We must learn to not cling to them too tightly.

And instead cling to our Savior.

If we make it our life purpose to elevate our children to a higher pedestal than they are intended to be placed upon, we will struggle to cope with life once they’ve left our home.

I’ll admit that the thought of my own two growing up and leaving our home someday is a blow to my heart. To realize that their sweet giggles will no longer flood our home and they won’t need me in the way they do now genuinely breaks my heart. However, I also know that if I raise them right and teach them to depend upon Jesus rather than myself, then God will help me through and give sweet peace.

7. Pray Together and Dig into Scripture

Praying for our children comes naturally for most parents. However, in the busyness of life, we often fail to slow down and realize the importance of also praying with them.

Their impressionable hearts need to hear us earnestly seek our Savior on their behalf and pray for a broken world in desperate need of hope. They need to know that we truly believe God hears the pleas of His children and delights to answer according to His perfect will and in His perfect timing.

To raise godly daughters we must also faithfully teach them the importance of digging into the Bible for themselves. The world around us will attempt to deceive, confuse, and whisper many alluring lies in our ears.  It’s up to us as parents to teach our children discernment and how to halt our sinful flesh by filtering everything through God’s Word as our ultimate source of truth.

To take this a step further, in this day and age, it is also vitally important for us to share evidence for our faith. One of the challenges of raising godly children in the 21^st century is that we’re often not equipped with the tools needed to effectively communicate a reason for the hope that lies within us (1 Peter 3:15).

The Christian faith is not a blind faith. We must engage our minds and dig into the facts just as much as we open our hearts. Apologetics can be a wonderful gift to offer our children as they seek to navigate the world around them.

8. Prepare Her To Meet Her Maker

As parents I believe we often unknowingly do things backwards. We teach our daughters good morals, and to show kindness to the world around them. We teach them academically and how to think logically. We teach them to play sports or master a certain skill. We may even teach them life skills and how to be a great wife and mother someday. These are all wonderful things that we should be teaching our girls!

However, how much time do we spend preparing our daughter for eternity? How often do we take time out of our day to sit down and talk with her about the Man who died to be her Savior? Are we living a life that is an example to her of what it means to truly follow Jesus? Are we a light to her? Have we raised her in a way that she realizes how short our lives here on this earth are? Is she prepared to stand before her Maker?

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To Raise Godly Children We Must Lead by Example

Looking back I can see God’s gracious hand allowing my husband and I to struggle in our parenting efforts while attempting to raise two incredibly strong willed children. He continues to gently reveal our limitations and desperate need for a Savior in every area of life.

Sweet friend, the beauty of the gospel doesn’t end at salvation. Each day we’re given a fresh reminder of our weaknesses and God’s immense strength. We’re reminded that we need rescuing and that Jesus stepped down from His glorious home in Heaven to offer us a sweet gift of redemption.

All of that to say that I am not an expert on raising a godly daughter, but I 100% believe that everything of importance could be summed up in this one point alone.

My job as her mother is to share the hope and love of Christ with her in a way that points her directly towards Heaven. My job is to teach my daughter that life is short. Instead of being consumed with temporary earthly pursuits, we need to lift our eyes upward and bring as many people to Heaven with us as we can.

Raising a godly daughter means we must learn to take the focus off of her.

Take the focus off of us.

And fix our hearts on Jesus.