Finding Joy In The Mundane: 6 Tips For The Weary Mom

Finding joy in the mundane moments of motherhood has a way of opening our eyes to the blessings that surround us.

Unprepared

I don’t think I am alone in saying that nothing quite prepares you for motherhood. You can read all the books, do all the research, take all the classes, and receive wonderful advice from those who’ve gone before you.  You know there will be highs and you know there will be lows. However, nothing can ever fully prepare you for the way your entire life changes the very moment your little one arrives.

How can anything prepare you for a love you’ve never known? A joy you’ve never experienced? A gift you’ve only ever heard about?… A weariness you’ve never felt? A heart ache you’ve never endured? A trial you’ve never suffered through?

An Amazing Grace

It wasn’t until the birth of my daughter that my eyes were opened to the abundant and undeserved grace of our Heavenly Father. When I realized the depth of my love for her was only a mere shadow of the love that God held for her I was overcome with gratitude and awe.

The realization that her Creator, the One who chose to bring her into existence and knew her even before He formed her in my womb, held an even greater amount of love for my daughter than I did humbled me. Although I love my children with all of my heart, my love for them is still an imperfect love. I will fall short and let them down. God’s love, however, is perfect and holy. He will never fail them.

Once I began to better grasp God’s love and how much I did not deserve it, I became all the more determined to be the best mother I could be to the sweet gifts He’s given me. I wish I could say that I’ve always succeeded in this promise, but the truth is that I fail miserably more often than I’d like to admit.

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What happened?

Why is this role as a mother, the one that I’ve dreamed of since I was a girl and that is more precious to me than words can describe, also the most difficult role I have ever had in my entire life? Why do I feel exhausted and on the verge of tears some days? Why is the stress overwhelming? Why am I frustrated and impatient?

God sure has a way of getting ahold of our hearts. He is teaching me that the answer is quite simple and it all comes down to one word.

Joy.

In the busyness and demands of life I have lost the joy I once had.  I have taken my eyes off of my Savior and onto myself. I have let the inconveniences, tests, and trials of parenting cloud my view of the blessings He has so graciously given me. Motherhood is such an amazing honor and privilege! But, even amid the many heartfelt moments there are also some aspects that can be quite repetitive and mundane in and of themselves.

The never ending pile of laundry and housework, years of diaper changes, endless messes to clean up, sibling arguments to break up, and continual correction and discipline have the potential to discourage and even depress us if we’re not careful.

There have been weeks on end where I’ve felt stretched beyond my limit and am running low on anything resembling joy. The reality is that there will likely still be times when finding joy in the ordinary tasks of motherhood is difficult.

What Exactly Is Joy?

Friend, the moment you decide to follow Christ He gives you something you never truly had before…joy. This joy (translated from the original Greek word “Chara” meaning inner gladness, delight, or rejoicing) isn’t based upon our circumstances like mere happiness. It is based upon knowing Jesus and the grace you’ve been shown. It’s based upon the promises of God and the hope He offers that can never be taken away.  

I’ll be honest and say that I don’t always feel “happy” while parenting. But through Christ, God has provided a way for me to still be joyful even in the midst of the repetition, challenges, and weariness. It’s up to me as to whether or not I choose to rest in the joy I’ve been given…

How Can We Find Joy In The Mundane Moments of Motherhood?

1. See Your Children As The Gifts They Are

Although my kiddos have a way of pushing buttons that I didn’t even know I had and testing my patience on a near daily basis, I can’t imagine my life without them. Their sweet innocent laughter, pure hearts, and child-like faith bring incredible joy. God has used my role as their mother to shape and mold me just as much as I pray He is able to use me to shape and mold them into becoming more like Jesus. He has taught me more about joy, grace, forgiveness, pain, and brokenness in these last 6 years of parenting than in all my previous years combined. Our children truly are precious. They are an underserved gift that we all too often take for granted.

2. View Motherhood As A Ministry

It is true that raising children can be exhausting and we simply need a break sometimes. However, the moment we decided to begin the process of starting a family life ceases to be about us and our wants and desires.

Motherhood isn’t about us.

It’s not about what works for us, what fits into our schedules, what’s convenient for us, or how it makes us feel.

It’s about investing into the lives of our children and doing everything in our strength to nurture them, protect them, love them, teach them, correct them, and train them up right.

Motherhood is about denying ourselves and making sacrifices in order to best love and serve these little ones that God has entrusted into our care. Not in a way that spoils them or caters to them, but in a way that builds them up and lovingly teaches them right from wrong and the truths of God’s Word.

Understanding the weight of our role and responsibility as parents to raise them right should have a tremendous impact on us. God specifically chose us to raise these children for His glory.  

3. Use The Trials As Learning Opportunities

There are days that I still make the mistake of shifting my perfectionist expectations onto my children and am shocked by their childish behavior. After six years I have no idea why I’m suddenly surprised by spill #7 for the day or when my children aren’t best buddies at all hours. They are just children and they will act like children. It is my responsibility to teach them and then teach them again.

I’m learning that the trials, whether big or small, can be learning opportunities for each of us. When I respond to their accidents with grace and forgiveness it is teaching them how to offer grace and forgiveness to others. When I respond to their disobedience with patience and correction it is teaching them respect and boundaries. On the flip side of this if I respond in frustration and impatience I’m teaching them nothing more than this is how to handle life when you’re inconvenienced or stressed. God has this way of allowing me to see myself through my children and how undeservedly patient He is with me.  

4. Start Your Day Right

For many years I have enjoyed ending my day with prayer and spending time in God’s Word. I’m now beginning to understand the importance of starting it this way. It doesn’t need to be a long prayer or large passage of Scripture.  It could even just be a single verse to think upon throughout the day, but it’s amazing the difference it makes when we decide to begin our day with our thoughts turned toward our Savior.  

5. Cultivate a Heart Of Gratitude

Thank God for the health you’ve been given to accomplish your daily tasks. Thank Him for His provision in supplying your family’s needs.  Praise Him for His strength that is made perfect in your weaknesses. Praise Him for the sweet joyful moments and laughter that fills your home.

6. Remember The Grace You’ve Been Shown

This is a big one for me. When I pause to think about how my Heavenly Father repeatedly shows me grace and forgives me when I least deserve it, I see my sin for what it really is. Whether it is pride, selfishness, bitterness…it is all ugly. My children’s mistakes remind me of my own failures and how grateful I am for God’s gentle rebuke, correction, and forgiveness in my own life. Their four and six year old failures pale in comparison to my own.

Motherhood is a tremendous joy, but we were never promised that it would all be easy. There will be hardships, trying days, mundane tasks, and sleepless nights. In these moments please remember your Savior. There is not a trial that you’re facing that He hasn’t gone through and most likely experienced to a much greater extent than we ever will.

We must learn to take our focus off of ourselves and fix our gaze upon Him.