The Mother Son Relationship: 10 Things A Boy Needs From His Mom

The mother son relationship is a precious gift. It is vitally important that we are faithfully pouring into our sons in order to strengthen the bond between us.

Sibling Differences

It is amazing to me that two children can come from the same parents and yet be as opposite as night and day. This perfectly describes my children as infants.

My daughter was a colicky baby and came out of the womb making her presence known! Although she no longer voices her powerful set of lungs on a daily basis, she’s held onto her passion and zest for life in numerous other ways. Her bubbly personality and infectious laughter bring light to those around her.

In contrast to my daughter’s…well we’ll call it  enthusiasm… my son was what I would describe as a precious and angelic tiny human.

He was every mother’s dream baby. 

A Mother’s Love

My precious baby boy very rarely ever fussed and I honestly have no memory of hunger cries or him being agitated by a dirty diaper. He was so sweet, calm, and patient.

So much so that I specifically remember one evening when he was a few months old telling my husband that I was afraid that there might be something wrong with him. To which he calmly replied, “Babe this is exactly what you prayed for.” To which I responded, “I know, but I didn’t actually think it would happen!” Oh ye of little faith, right?! God sure has a way of humbling us by His grand acts of grace.

For the first 18 months of his life, my sweet little man continued to bring his momma pure joy.

He was my peace.

All of the initial fears of “how will I ever be able to love this new little one growing inside of me as much as I do my first child?” completely vanished the moment I first held him.

I was more than just smitten, I was overwhelmed by the amount of love I held for him.

During our months of nursing, feeding times often took close to an hour each because he would take a break every few minutes to sweetly  look up at me and smile as if to say “thank you, Momma, I appreciate all that you do for me” before going back to finish his meal. This simple act warmed my heart over and over again. I was over the moon with my sweet family.

A New Chapter

It was around the 19-20 month mark that his adventurous spirit, bounds of energy, mischievous curiosity, and strong will began to reveal themselves. His sweet personality remained, but this time period marked the beginning of a new season of parenting for me.

Fast forward a couple of years and my son is now close to four years old. He is still full of energy and great big smiles. He brings so much laughter and joy to our family.

However, in the midst of all of the joy there is also a slight prick to my heart.

My son has a speech delay and his high activity level makes it a struggle for him to focus and learn things at the rate of his peers. He is making great gains and I fully believe he will eventually catch up to where he needs to be, but these last couple of years have been trying at times.

Because of his inability to fully communicate and give me his full attention I have often felt that I do not have the same kind of connection with him as I do my daughter.

And it breaks my heart.

Related Posts: RAISING A STRONG WILLED CHILD: 4 UNEXPECTED BLESSINGS TO CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE

HOW TO TEACH KIDS TO BE GRATEFUL: 11 TIPS FOR CULTIVATING A HEART OF GRATITUDE

A Mother’s Prayers

Countless times I have prayed for wisdom in discerning what exactly it is that he needs from me.  I have felt in the dark as to how to best help him and like a failure as his mother at times.

Recently God has been answering this prayer and in the process bringing with it some much needed hope and peace.

He is teaching me that it doesn’t matter if our children are right on track developmentally or are a bit behind. As a momma I’ve been given the amazing responsibility of caring for the precious gift of my son and there are several things that I can be certain of that he needs from me.

This page/post may contain affiliate links.  As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you. This is true of any other affiliate links within this post. For more detailed information, please visit our Affiliate Disclaimer page.

The Mother Son Relationship

A Mother’s Influence On Her Son

My son needs me to:

1. Support Him and Cheer Him On.

We need to show our sons that we are proud of them and their accomplishments. Words of praise and a simple smile can make him feel like a million bucks. We should always be his biggest fan and not just assume that he already knows it. Encourage him, Momma!

2. Show Interest In His Likes

Not only should we offer our son words of affirmation, we need to show a genuine interest in his likes. Asking questions regarding an activity he’s involved in or commenting on how cool a toy is that he’s playing with can have such an impact on his desire to share and confide in us.

3. Play With Him and Engage In Activities He Enjoys

A child’s love language is often the gift of time. Without sounding too cheesy here, spending that one on one time together truly does strengthen the bond and deepen the trust between a parent and child no matter their age.

At this stage of my son’s life our time together typically involves some sort of running, chasing, jumping, tickling or shooting baskets. Hearing his laughter and seeing his face light up when we play together brings such joy to my heart.

I will cherish these sweet moments and imagine that someday, not too far down the road, I will look back at this time and wish that I could do it all over again. Our time with our children truly is a gift that goes by so quickly.

4. Comfort Him

God designed a woman with nurturing instincts. We are made to comfort and get a deep sense of satisfaction when we are able to do so. Yes, it is true that we don’t want to over do it especially when it comes to raising our boys, but please don’t forget that a gentle word or comforting hug can be a healing balm to his soul. Protect his heart, Momma.    

5. Teach Him and Be An Example For Him To Follow

We cannot help but teach our children. They are little sponges who, although they don’t always listen to what we say, have no problem mimicking what we do.

This is a humbling reality that we often overlook. Our own actions must align with our words. May we be a role model worthy of him to look up to.

6. Discipline Him

Our culture isn’t always too fond of whole idea of discipline, but the truth is that our children crave boundaries and desperately need to be taught right from wrong.

They need certain consequences in place when their behavior is not acceptable. They also need for us to be consistent with that correction. A loving, but firm discipline can go a long way in protecting him from making much bigger mistakes down the road.   

7. Be Patient With Him and Offer Him Grace

Sometimes I need to remind myself that my son is just a child. He is going to be immature and make a lot of mistakes. He can’t yet fully reason or make calculated decisions like I can.

Simply put: being a good momma requires patience.

A whole boatload of patience.

And then some more patience.

There have been more days than I care to admit where my patience has worn thin and I allowed frustration to get the best of me. Nothing good comes from that.

However, when I seek God’s help and remember the patience He has given me, my children actually begin to respond positively to my instruction and discipline! I need to loosen the grip of my perfectionist expectations for my kiddos and remember the grace I’ve been shown.

8. Share The Hope Of Jesus With Him

One of our most important jobs ever is to lovingly share the hope that is found in Christ with our son. The gospel has the power to change a life and save a soul and there is absolutely nothing more precious.

This is an area that I felt I was failing in for a very long time regarding my own son. Although I faithfully read his Bible storybooks with him, prayed with him, and talked to him about God’s Word throughout the day, I would often hold back from everything I wanted to share because I was 99% sure he wasn’t listening anyways. Momma, please don’t do this.

Share everything God has laid on your heart to share with your son. Because you know what I’ve recently been discovering? All that time when I thought my words were going in one ear and out the other, he actually was listening!

I’ve been so encouraged lately by the little bits he has been sharing with me at random moments throughout the day. Our children are capable of absorbing and comprehending so much more than we give them credit for.   

9. Pray For Him

If we are not going to pray for our son who will? It truly is an honor to go before the Lord and pray for our sons. There is a spiritual battle going on for his soul. The very least we can do is to pray for his protection.

Pray for his heart.

Pray for the influences around him.

Pray for the decisions he will make.

Pray that he will stand up for what is right and make a difference in the world.

Pray for his salvation and that he will live a life that honors his Creator.

10. Be A Mommy Who is Following Jesus

Whether you are a stay at home mom or working mom, raising a family is a full time job in and of itself. Furthermore, there never seems to be enough hours in the day to accomplish everything.

Although I can say I feel extremely blessed when I lay my head down on my pillow each evening, I can also say that I equally feel extremely exhausted.

Unfortunately, an area that can often lose priority in this busy phase of life is that of spending our own time in God’s Word and prayer. I know because I’ve done it. How can I expect to lead my son to follow Jesus when I’m running on empty myself? It simply doesn’t work.

Have you ever wondered why there aren’t more Bible verses on the topic of raising our children?

On multiple occasions I’ve searched the Scriptures for wisdom in this area, but all of my digging has only left me wishing that God would’ve given me a little bit (or A LOT) more information on this very important subject. To sum it all up the verses that we are given basically say #1 Teach your children God’s Word. #2 Discipline your children. #3 Love your children.

Biblical Parenting

It wasn’t until I recently came across a quote by author Gary Thomas that I began to understand it all better.

He says “The silence of the Bible on the plan for parenting, along with the repetition of the Bible on spiritual growth, could lead us to conclude that God believes the parent’s own spiritual growth is the most essential part of the “how to” of parenting. In other words, God may be telling us, Grow in me every day-in faith, patience, virtue, love, and worship, and let that faith and growth perfume your house and anoint your children.”

Mommas, we’ve been given perhaps the most important job there is in raising our children. The mother son relationship is truly a gift. May we follow our Savior, look to our Heavenly Father for wisdom, and rest in the truths of His Word.

 “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).