7 Helpful Ways To Teach Kids Discernment

One important way to love and lead our children is by teaching them how to discern truth. Here are 7 helpful ways to teach kids discernment.

It’s no surprise that our culture is blurring the boundaries of truth vs. error. The messages of “you do you”, “live your truth”, and “follow your heart” are targeting our children like never before.

As parents we’re given the privilege of protecting and guiding the precious hearts of our children. We must be faithful to teach them discernment and how to navigate the deceptions of the culture before the lies surrounding them lead them astray.

7 Ways To Teach Kids Discernment

There are a few things that we must do before we ever attempt to reach a child’s heart with matters of discernment. We often have an inaccurate view of the amount of influence we hold over our children and fail to realize that God specifically designed this special relationship for them to glean wisdom and truth from us.

Yes, we are imperfect people and will fail our children, but we just so happen to have a tad more life experience paired with a depth of love for them that cannot be rivaled.

It has always been God’s plan for the parents to have the greatest amount of influence over their children. Contrary to popular belief our children are desperately seeking guidance, approval, boundaries, and praise from us!

We need to faithfully pour into the hearts of our children so there is never a hint of doubt as to the amount of love we hold for them. If we want to communicate truth and desire teachable hearts along the way connection is vital. To have any lasting impact on our children we must be an example worthy of them to follow.

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1. Stay Grounded in God’s Word

To guard our children’s hearts and teach them discernment we must first and foremost seek the wisdom found in the pages of Scripture. The Bible is a gift from our Creator, a love letter per se, showing us how life works best. He created the human heart after all and He alone knows what will satisfy it.

If we are faithful to hide God’s Word in our hearts then it will come to mind exactly when we need it most. Learning this truth ourselves and putting it into action will go a long way in teaching our children to do the same.

2. Faithfully Pray

Our enemy is a masterful deceiver. He knows our weaknesses and continues to whisper the same lies he’s whispered since the very beginning of time. By subtly weaving truth within the lies the wrongs don’t seem quite as wrong anymore. We must recognize that we have an enemy that desperately wants to destroy our children and families (1 Peter 5:8).

We must pray for God to open the hearts and minds of our children in order for them to clearly see the deception of Satan as well as their own sinful desires. Pray for them to have a tender conscience, firm convictions, and the clarity to discern truth vs. error.

3. Be Informed

It is important for us as parents to be aware of the current cultural trends, influences, and deceptions that are leading so many of our youth away from the faith. One book that I highly recommend, Mama Bear Apologetics, does an excellent job informing parents and adults of the agendas aimed at our children that are often cloaked as “protecting” or “educating” them.

Even simple terminology is being twisted to mean something else entirely. If we want to truly protect the hearts of our children we must have an accurate understanding of the darts the enemy is firing their way.

4. Teach Them To Think Logically

When I was in elementary school 25-30 years ago we were given facts and encouraged to search for truth based on the evidence we were given. Fast forward to today and our youth are being taught opinions disguised as facts. At times children are made to feel foolish for believing any other way.

Our busy, noisy, media driven culture is silencing the gift of thought. We have traded the precious gift of our brains for numbing conveniences that offer momentary satisfaction.

We need to teach our children the difference between objective and subject truth. Something that is objective is based on factual evidence, whereas subjective is based on personal opinion. For example 2+2=4 is an objective truth. I may wish that 2+2=6 but just because I have a preference for something or believe something to be true doesn’t mean that it is. There are clearly defined black and white/ wrong and right answers in life.

Our children need to have a foundational understanding of the difference between solid evidence based truth and what is simply an opinion, belief, viewpoint, or preference. It is our job as parents to lovingly instruct our children to search for evidence, dig for truth, and think logically.

5. Teach Them the Value and Purpose of Our Emotions

Emotions are a beautiful gift from our Creator. As human beings made in the image of God we have emotions because He has emotions. However, there is one truth that many of us are tempted to overlook when it comes to our feelings. God gave us feelings to prompt us into action, not to be our guide in life.

Feelings make very poor guides and can easily lead us astray. If we’re honest we also know that sometimes they’re just plain sinful and deceptive. Our children need to understand the value of their emotions, but also how to navigate those emotions rather than allowing their feelings to control them.

Love, joy, and peace are precious gifts. At times anger, grief, and sadness are healthy emotions as well, but each and every one needs to be guided by our God given conscience and logic.

Confusion comes into play for impressionable young minds when they believe that “what is true for you isn’t necessarily true for me” because feelings differ. Let’s be faithful to communicate the beauty of our emotions, but also the need for our children to guard their hearts in order to prevent violating themselves or another because of a lack of self-control.

6. Teach Them to Serve

This one may seem like an odd fit in the list, but upon further inspection we’ll realize how fundamental the act of service is to guarding the hearts of our children. Every man, woman, and child has a heart bent towards self.

When the lies of the culture are screaming at our children that the world revolves around them and they can do and believe whatever makes them feel good they are much more susceptible to confuse objective vs. subjective truth because of the pull of their selfish and sinful desires.

When we teach our children that every person is created equally in the image of God and that He created us to place the needs of others above ourselves we are teaching them to honor their Creator, others, and ultimately reap the benefits of a servant’s heart – joy! Our hearts were made to serve.

When we take the focus off of us- our wants, desires, and feelings, we can more clearly see the needs of others and the honest truth of the world around us.

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT PARENTING?

7. Ask Questions, Role Play, Explore Media Outlets Together

Another way to teach children discernment is to simply ask them questions. Have discussions together, pick their brain on a topic, and use it as a learning opportunity. Role playing is a great way to get them more comfortable thinking through and talking about a subject in front of others.

For example I may pretend to be my one of my daughter’s friends… “It’s really not that big of deal. It’s only a little disrespect and immodesty in the movie, and all the other kids parents are just fine with it”… then ask my daughter how she would respond to that statement. After her response we can talk things through.

One of the most helpful ways to instill discernment in a child is to read books, watch movies, and listen to music together. There have been times when we’ve had to stop a family movie because of inappropriate material. However, there have been other times when we’ve watched or read something where a character was defiant or rebellious, for example, but those actions weren’t condoned. There was a root cause and consequences for that behavior and it was a learning opportunity.

Looking at the overall theme of a story and what the author is trying to communicate is a good place to start. Asking simple questions like the ones below can be a great catalyst into some helpful conversations on discernment:

“Was that a fact or opinion?”
“Did the main character show honor to others?”
“What could they have done differently?”
“Did he make a wise decision?”
“Does what she said really make any sense?”
“Is this okay for her to do and not that person to do?”
“Were they thinking with their head or heart?”
“Why are you drawn to this character?”

Bible Verses on Discernment

God’s Word makes it abundantly clear that using discernment is necessary for making wise decisions in life. Here are a few Bible verses on the topic to remind us of the importance of teaching our children this life skill.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Ephesians 12:2 ESV
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
“…Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.” Ephesians 5:8-11
“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” 1 John 4:1
“And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11

If you’re looking for additional resources that may be helpful in the area of teaching kids discernment I’d recommend the following as great places to start:

Mama Bear Apologetics by Hillary Morgan Ferrer

Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality

Live Your Truth and Other Lies by Alisa Childers

Faithfully Different by Natasha Crain

Foundation Worldview Curriculum (preschool through high school)

Introduction to Logic Curriculum Set (for high schoolers)

Unshaken Faith Podcast by Alisa Childers and Natasha Crain

Mama Bear Apologetics Podcast

Stand to Reason Podcast With Greg Koukl

Raising children is one of the most important (if not the most important) jobs we will ever tackle in this lifetime. They are a precious gift and we will be held accountable as to how we love and lead them. Let’s be faithful to lovingly pour those truths in, eagerly answer their questions, and protect their hearts.