Encouragement For The Parent Of An ADHD Child

Navigating the challenges of ADHD parenting can be overwhelming, but there is hope. Here are 4 pieces of encouragement for the ADHD parent.

As a young adult I’d occasionally catch myself mentally critiquing the parenting choices of the mom with the overly rambunctious child running down the isles of the grocery store.

Or the one screaming their head off in the parking lot. Wow, that kiddo needs a good dose of discipline or something along those lines typically ran through my mind.

It would have never once occurred to me that that energetic, emotional, impulsive child could have had a mental disorder called ADHD. Unfortunately, it would have never occurred to me because I didn’t believe that Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder was actually “a thing”.

My understanding was that ADHD was simply a label thrown on a child that had too little discipline and too much sugar. 

Little did I know how drastically my perspective would change just a few short years down the road.

God, in His goodness and grace, allows me to travel to humble town on a fairly regular basis. Although it’s often unpleasant at the time, it is during these moments that I’ve learned the greatest lessons.

Encouragement For The ADHD Parent – Our Story

While pregnant with my son it often felt like he was throwing a party in my womb. I sincerely believe that the 16 week gestation period was the birth of his fascination with trampolines.

Around age three we started an early intervention program for his speech delay and were already quite certain that his excessive amounts of energy and inability to focus was linked to ADHD (which runs on my husband’s side of the family).

He was officially diagnosed with ADHD as well as Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Sensory Processing disorder at the age of five. It was also during this time that we discovered ADHD can manifest itself differently in girls than it does in boys.

My daughter (who was seven at the time) checked all the boxes for female symptoms and was diagnosed shortly after my son.

These last few years have been challenging for our family. Typical ways of parenting rarely have much of an effect on a child with ADHD. Their brain is craving so much more than a neurotypical child. Because of their lower levels of dopamine (the reward and feel good hormone) they are constantly seeking stimulation in some form or another.

This, unfortunately, frequently results in impulsivity, excessive talking and moving, impatience, distractibility, forgetfulness, frustration, anger, and BIG emotions to name a few.

Learning to View ADHD Struggles as A Gift

Although it can be easy to allow the trials to overwhelm us, I’m 100% certain that my children AND their struggles are a gift. It is because of these immense parenting trials that my own eyes were opened to just how important our influence over our children is.

I have also learned that I have limitations and that my own strong will and determination can only go so far. I desperately need my Savior and the hope that He offers during life’s storms. And as those struggles pile up God has also provided us so many beautiful opportunities to share the good news of His amazing grace with our children.

Being a mother and pouring into our children is a huge responsibility that should never be taken lightly. Our children need us in more ways than many of us realize.

They need us to meet them where they are, encourage them, connect with them, and very patiently guide them.

4 Pieces of Encouragement for ADHD Parenting

I remember not all that long ago searching the internet in hopes of discovering some sort of encouragement for what I was experiencing as an ADHD mom. I needed to know that I wasn’t alone or crazy, and I desperately needed some hope.

I found lots of articles with helpful facts and information, but unfortunately very little encouragement from other parents who had walked this road before me. 

My desire in writing today is to speak a little bit of peace into your own heart. You are not alone, sweet friend. And there is a light at the end of that tunnel.

You Are Not A Failure

As a determined perfectionist I often feel like a complete failure when I attempt something and don’t measure up. Parenting two children with ADHD has magnified this struggle.

I can correct, lead, love, and discipline to the best of my ability and yet my efforts frequently don’t produce the results I am desperately craving.

It has taken YEARS for me to fully grasp the simple fact that my children’s behavior is not a direct result of our parenting efforts.

The same is true for you.

Our children are their own unique person. They have a mind of their own (and in our case an incredibly strong will on top of it). If that mind happens to process information a bit differently (ADHD) there are no doubt going to be extra conflicts.

Friend, if you are pouring everything you’ve got into raising your children and not seeing fruit please don’t feel defeated. Keep loving, leading, correcting, and disciplining… and know that you are not a failure.

Your efforts are not in vain.

God will often allow us to endure immense trials to reveal to us our need for Him as well as the incredible amount of love he holds for us. You and your children are loved beyond measure by the Creator of the universe.

He can use these trials for our good and the good of our children if we are faithful to seek and trust Him fully.

It is because of these parenting challenges that I have developed more empathy for those struggling in a multitude of ways.

I have learned to persevere when the going gets tough.

And I have learned that the more difficult the challenge the more precious the reward.

God Specifically Chose You To Raise Your Child(ren)

You’ve likely heard the phrase that “God chooses special needs parents”. I wholeheartedly agree.

I’d like to ask you to let that thought sink into your heart for a moment. Before God was even fashioning you in your mother’s womb He already knew that several years down the road He would pair you with your sweet child.

He knew that this child would be a little bit different from the rest and yet you’re the one that He wanted to love and lead this precious little one. Out of the billions of parents that have walked this planet He chose YOU.

He already knew that He would use the immense trials and blessings of raising a child with ADHD to strengthen and grow your family, marriage, and relationships.

He already knew that He would use it all to reveal to us our need for Him, and magnify His strengths through our weaknesses.

His desire has always been to use it for good.

Life Was Never Promised To Be Easy

I think if we’re honest the majority of us get this notion that life is supposed to be sheer bliss all of the time. We seem to forget that we’re living in a fallen world and are surrounded by brokenness.

We look at those who appear to have it all together and long for their trouble free life. What we fail to realize is that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

Beneath the surface we’re all struggling with something. A failing marriage, financial stress, terminal illness, estranged loved ones, job loss… 

Although this fallen world was never God’s original intention, He can still use our brokenness to stretch and grow us in ways that we likely wouldn’t without these struggles.

The trials can shape and mold our character.

In my own personal life I’m 100% certain that if my children were the compliant angelic little humans I had always envisioned that I would make the false assumption that I was doing a pretty good job at this parenting thing and neglect to see my need for a Savior.

I would become proud in my abilities. I would become complacent in my attempts to get through to my children’s hearts and simply correct their outward behavior.

Please realize that these immense parenting trials are a blessing in disguise.

There Are Positive ADHD Traits!

Although we tend to focus on the negative attributes of ADHD, there are positive traits as well! Children and adults with ADHD:

1. Tend to be more compassionate and empathetic
2. Have boundless amounts of energy which comes in handy for keeping the body healthy and accomplishing tasks they’re interested in.
3. Are highly resourceful, creative, and often have magnetic personalities
4. Can hyper-focus, which is incredibly helpful in problem solving, creating, and excelling at whatever they put their mind to.

In fact many of the world’s most famous inventors, scientists, athletes, musicians, and actors have been diagnosed (or would have been) with ADHD including:

• Galileo, astronomer
• Albert Einstein, physicist
• Thomas Edison, inventor
• Isaac Newton, mathematician
• Leonardo da Vinci, artist
• Vincent van Gogh, artist
• Abraham Lincoln, president
• Simone Biles, Olympic gymnast
• Michael Phelps, Olympic swimmer
• Will Smith, actor

I sincerely believe that each of these men and women found success because of their resilience, ability to hyper-focus, creative minds, and sheer determination – all positive traits of their “disability”.

The next time you are tempted to allow the trials of parenting to overwhelm you please remember your child’s strengths. And encourage them to tap into those areas of interest all the more.

Related: ARE YOU RAISING A LITTLE PETER?: HOPE FOR THE PARENT OF A STRONG WILLED CHILD

18 COMFORTING BIBLE VERSES FOR SPECIAL NEEDS PARENTS (+ FREE PRINTABLE CARDS)

ADHD Parenting- Using It All For Good

Our circumstances merely draw out of our hearts what is already there. As the trials of life are pressing in around us the natural bent of our hearts is to react in sin.  

Parenting children with ADHD has been the most challenging task of my life and unfortunately has resulted in bitterness and even anger at times if I’m completely honest. I imagine that you have felt the same.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Our Creator has provided a way for us to be free from the bondage of that sin through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus. We have all allowed anger to overtake us, lied, lusted, stolen, and coveted to some degree among other things (Exodus 20).

Each and every one of us falls short of the glory of God and desperately needs a Redeemer (Romans 3:23).

As I write this Christmas is only a few days away. Please see the incredible beauty in God sending Christ into the world as an innocent baby who would then grow up for the sole purpose of dying the death that we deserve.

 He sent His Son for YOU.

God’s Word promises us that if we turn away from our sin and seek His forgiveness in a desire to follow Christ that we can rest assured of an eternity spent with Him in Heaven.

We will still have difficulties in this life, but through Christ we can also have peace, hope, rest, and a sweet joy that can never be taken away from us. And in His strength we can weather the storms that come our way knowing that He can use all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

Yes, parenting children with ADHD has been a huge struggle that I was unprepared for. However, when I take a step back I can clearly see that it has also been one of the absolute greatest blessings of my life.

My children have the biggest hearts and bring so much joy to our family!

My faith and marriage have been strengthened.

I have developed more compassion and empathy.

I have learned to find joy even in the midst of the most trying circumstances.

I have been humbled with gratitude at the precious gift of life.

And I have a greater understanding of God’s gracious act in saving me.

Friend, if you are struggling on this journey, please remember the truths above and seek the Man who died to be your Savior. He can carry you through the trials of ADHD parenting. And He alone can give your heart rest.