Are You Raising A Little Peter?: Hope For The Parent of A Strong Willed Child

Not all that long ago I remember cradling my large abdomen as I silently prayed for the precious little girl growing inside of me. I prayed for her to be a young lady of conviction, one that would stand up for what is right in this ever wavering world.

Two and a half years later, while pregnant with my son, I prayed a similar prayer. I asked God to help my son have a firm backbone and be a young man of character. That he would seek God’s strength to withstand the many trials and temptations that would come his way.

Above all else I prayed that both of my children would fall in love with the Man who died to be their Savior.

Parenting The Strong Willed Child

Fast forward eight years and I now have two incredibly happy and sweet kiddos who also happen to have WILLS. OF. IRON. Yes, you read that right, both of them.

Out of sheer overwhelm and desperation a couple of weeks ago I caught myself silently reminding God that this isn’t what I asked for. After a moment of quiet, a gentle rebuke pricked my heart. It was as if God was reminding me that actually, yes, it was.

All those years prior I had specifically prayed that my children would be able to withstand the pressures of the culture. I prayed for God to mold them into strong leaders that could influence those around them for His glory. And I still pray along these lines today.

Although I would prefer for this parenting journey to be a cake walk… it’s not. And if I’m honest I’m almost certain that these trying days of willful disobedience and determination could actually be my answered prayers staring back at me.

If we look back at the timeline of history we will often find courageous men and women who dared to make a difference.  I suppose it’s possible that some of them were quite compliant and non-confrontational, but my gut tells me that the majority of them had a fierce determination that uniquely set them apart.

Those iron wills are exactly what propelled them to do what most others chose to sit out. There is one man in particular that comes to mind when I think of a strong will. His name is Peter. He was a disciple of Jesus. You may better know him as “Open Mouth, Insert Foot. Repeat. Peter”.

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The Apostle Peter’s Strong Will

I can’t help but imagine that Peter’s mother most likely faced similar struggles. I wonder if she questioned God’s plan as she attempted to raise her opinionated, impulsive, strong willed son. Was she ever so emotionally exhausted that she just wanted to escape? Did she feel like an utter failure because the amount she was pouring in was so much greater than the fruit it produced?

Now, I’m taking a bit of liberty here with my imagination. The Bible doesn’t tell us what Peter was like as a child. But… from what we know of him as an adult I don’t think it’s stretching the imagination much 😉 .  

Peter, unfortunately, often gets a bad rap for his glaringly obvious faults. However, it was those very faults that God used to transform him into a man of strength and character.

 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

I’d like to share a few of his strengths with you in hopes that it will bring a little bit of peace as you parent your strong willed child.

1. Peter Was A Natural Born Leader

Peter’s ability to quickly take action and speak up for his beliefs helped to define his leadership skills. He was often the spokesperson for the disciples and was actually the first to declare Jesus as the long awaited Messiah (Matthew 16:16).

In chapter 14 we read about the feeding of the 5,000. The Bible says that immediately after this Jesus “made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds” (v 22).

It is safe to assume that all 12 disciples were in the boat at this time and yet only Peter was brave enough to cry out to Jesus and attempt to walk on the water toward him as Jesus approached the boat (v 28-29).

After his death and resurrection Jesus appeared to his disciples multiple times. One such occasion was when Jesus met them on the shore after a long night fishing. Peter, no doubt, was still feeling ashamed of his denial of Christ three times before the crucifixion.

Jesus purposefully took Peter aside to restore him and asked Peter three times if he loved him. When Peter continually replied “yes, Lord, you know that I love you”, Jesus’ response each time was to feed and tend to His sheep. Jesus was lovingly telling Peter that not only was he forgiven, He had big plans to use him to lead and shepherd his people.

Jesus saw great value in Peter and intentionally used his strong will to help build His church (Matthew 16:18).

2. Peter Was “The Rock”

Peter’s given name was actually Simon. Upon meeting Simon for the first time Jesus said to him in John 1:42 “You are Simon the son of John. You shall be called Cephas” (which translated is Peter meaning the “rock”). Later Jesus tells Peter “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18-19).

Peter’s steadfast faithfulness played a crucial role in the establishment of the early church.

3. Peter Was A Man Of Conviction

Strong conviction can lead to some powerful emotions. We’re often all too quick to view big emotions in a negative light. I would agree that they certainly can be used for wrong when not guided properly, and should never be the driving force behind our decisions. However, emotions steered by conviction can also be used for a whole lot of good.

This kind of passion is what causes people to stand up for the weak, less fortunate, sick, widows, and orphans. It is what causes us to hurt when others hurt and have compassion. And it’s what prompts us to share the hope of Christ with a lost and dying world before it is too late.

Yes, Peter had some BIG emotions which got him into trouble on more than one occasion, but he also had a heart of gold that propelled him to lovingly deliver the gospel message to anyone willing to lend an ear.

4. Peter Was Willing To Give It All Up For The Sake of Christ

Just as Jesus said he would be, Peter was one of the most influential leaders in the establishment of the early Christian church. His heart had been radically transformed by the hope of Christ and he did whatever he could to share that hope with the world around him. His two letters (1 & 2 Peter) to the persecuted believers scattered throughout Asia minor (present day Turkey) reiterate this hope.

• “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” 1 Peter 2:9
• “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” 1 Peter 4:12-13
• “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” 1 Peter 5:10
• “But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 2 Peter 3:8-9

Friend, if you are exasperated beyond measure and wondering if all of your parenting efforts have been in vain, please remember Peter and know that they are not.

I will always be in awe at how God chooses to get ahold of our hearts. He so often uses my children to teach and remind me of His truths. I recently went down to our basement to get a workout in and my children followed along. They flocked to me like magnets and attempted to mimic every exercise that I did (with a huge smile on their face).

In that moment it hit me that they are watching our example before them. The amount of influence we hold over our children is far greater than many of us realize.

Although I would rather they listen to my instruction and correction regarding heart issues rather than following my example in exercise…  I’ll take it. Because it means that they ARE paying attention.

Whether or not we’re seeing any fruit at this very moment, please know that they are watching and they are listening. May we continue to be faithful in pouring all we’ve got into raising them for God’s glory.

And Going Back To Peter’s Story…

After being firmly rebuked by Jesus one day for impulsively denying the death and resurrection Christ spoke of, Jesus went on to tell Peter and the rest of the disciples,

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

Matthew 16:24-25 ESV (Emphasis mine)

Little did Peter know that those words would ring true, literally, in his own life. Historians (outside of the Bible) have recorded that, like Jesus, Peter was also crucified. Only he didn’t feel worthy to be executed in the same way as his Savior… and asked to be crucified upside down.

God took this broken man with many flaws and turned him into one of the greatest examples of humility and Christ-like love the world has ever known.

Trust God with your children, Friend. And remember that the love He holds for them is even greater than your own.