How To Teach Kids To Be Grateful: 11 Tips For Cultivating a Heart of Gratitude

The self-saturated message of our current culture is impacting our children more than many of us realize. If you’re wondering how to teach kids to be grateful and guard their hearts against selfish pursuits you’re not alone. I certainly don’t have this area mastered, but would love to share with you some lessons I’m learning along this parenting journey.

We’ve been given an amazing privilege in raising these sweet gifts. May we lay aside the distractions in life and pour into them what it truly means to cultivate a heart of gratitude.

This page/post may contain affiliate links.  As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you. This is true of any other affiliate links within this post. For more detailed information, please visit our Affiliate Disclaimer page.

How To Teach Kids To Be Grateful

Although we can’t exactly force our kids to be genuinely filled with gratitude, we can most definitely be their example and teach them to be grateful by implanting truths in their hearts that will help instill a gracious spirit within them. We can…

1. Teach Them To Serve

Have you ever thought about how God created our hearts to serve? A simple act of service does not go unnoticed by our Maker. When we learn to take our eyes off of ourselves in order to help those around us we can’t help but discover joy in the process.

Do you remember when Jesus washed his disciples feet? He chose to humbly serve them in this way to demonstrate the importance of placing others before ourselves. We are not here to please ourselves. We are here to bring glory to our Creator and lovingly serve those He has placed in our lives.

Teaching our children how to serve doesn’t have to be complicated. We can show our young children how to set the table and help prepare dinner for the rest of the family. Elementary age children can help their younger sibling with something they’re struggling with. Or take the time to play with them when they would prefer to do something else. Older children can run errands for an elderly neighbor or mow their grass.

It doesn’t have to be an elaborate gesture in order for them to learn the importance of (and blessings that stem from) putting others before themselves.

2. Teach Them to Value Hard Work

It’s no surprise that we are living in a convenience saturated “I want it now” culture. These conveniences that were meant to make our lives easier have done just that- they’ve made our lives easier. Which, unfortunately, has in turn caused many of us to devalue the concept of hard work.

But here’s the thing, hard work naturally produces gratitude. To teach our children to be grateful we need to lovingly instruct them to be diligent workers in every area of life whether it be at school, home, work etc.

One way to do this is by giving them daily age appropriate chores. They are part of the family and contribute to the messes. They can learn to graciously help with the housework. We can encourage our children to be faithful in their studies at school and extracurricular activities. And we can set boundaries for our teenagers by assisting them with finding a job to help pay for their car, insurance, etc. and save for college.

Giving our children hand-outs all the time only teaches them to expect certain things in life, and hard work isn’t one of them.

3. Be An Example To Them

As parents we will always hold a strong amount of influence over our children no matter their age. This influence can have a positive impact and help to strengthen our relationship or it can have a negative impact and push them away from us.

We are given a powerful role in their life… And we can be certain that God will hold us accountable as to how we raise them, and what kind of an example we set for them.

Our words and actions are an overflow of what is already in our hearts. When we are gracious in our speech, actions, and thoughts our children take notice.

4. Scale Back on the Gifts We Give Them

I love giving good gifts to my children! It is so exciting to see their faces light up in anticipation!

Giving gifts to our children is a good thing! We’re even told of how much God delights to give good gifts to His children (James 1:17, Matthew 7:11). However, it’s not uncommon for us to go a bit overboard in the amount, frequency, or cost of these gifts. Friend, this is just not necessary.

Teaching our kids gratitude may mean giving them less “things” and more of us.

More than anything else in the world our children need US. Not the latest toys or fall fashions. They need quality time spent with us loving and leading them as we should. Leading them closer to the Man who died to be their Savior and further away from worldly distractions that can never truly satisfy. Gifts are blessing, but not at the expense of leading our sweet children away from the Giver.

5. Donate Toys, Books, Clothes and Adopt a More Minimalist Lifestyle

It’s amazing how quickly we seem to accumulate things. Things that we never even needed in the first place.

Teaching our children gratitude begins by teaching them to appreciate what they already have.

This will naturally begin to curb the desire for them to want what they don’t.

A simple way to do this is by routinely donating belongings to homeless shelters, ministries, and charities that have a genuine need for items that we take for granted. It’s fun to involve your children in this process too!

A couple of years ago I asked my daughter to place some of her belongings (that she would like to give away) into a large box. After she finished I decided to take a peek through the box and discovered several of her VERY FAVORITE toys and books lying in there!

When I shared with her that she didn’t need to give away her favorites, she sweetly told me that we shouldn’t only give away things that we don’t want anymore. We should give away some of our favorites to be a blessing to others too! Talk about a convicted momma! I love how God so often uses our children to teach us important truths.

6. Buy Used Items

If we, as parents, are constantly buying the latest and greatest gadgets, cars, clothes, furniture, etc. we are only teaching our children that they also need the fanciest toys and clothes to find satisfaction. And then guess what happens? Those things aren’t new anymore and we begin to feel the need for something more.

What if, instead, we bought things that weren’t quite as new and fancy but worked just the same? What if we simply taught our children to be grateful for the necessities and enjoy something extra special every once and a while?

This will make them more appreciative of those special moments while making them more enjoyable as well.

7. Discipline Wrong Behavior

Friend, we’ve been given an extraordinary responsibility in caring for the children God has placed into our care. Our children, just like the rest of us, are born into sin and need consistent guidance to learn right from wrong.

Taking the easy way out and turning a blind eye to their disobedience will never foster within them a heart of gratitude. Indulging them will never teach them to appreciate all that they’ve been given in life. We must consistently and lovingly discipline and correct their misbehavior over and over again until they are no longer under our authority.

8. Spend Time Together

Our children desperately crave intentional time spent together. When we are purposeful in carving out that one on one time with them ,we’re showing them their worth in our eyes. That their interests, hobbies, and talents are important to us. We’re showing them that the unique individual God created them to be is of great value to us.

We’re showing them that we love them.  

I cannot express enough how much our children desperately need our love and approval. When we are faithful to show them their worth in our eyes and even more importantly in God’s, they will be grateful.

9. Limit TV and Electronics Usage

I’ve noticed a direct correlation of the amount of TV my children watch to the frequency of them acting board and not using their imaginations as often. If you think about it this makes perfect sense.

Allowing our children to use electronics only creates within them a desire to be entertained. This desire leads to an expectancy and lack of creativity on their part.

Limiting their usage of these devices or completely eliminating them altogether can do a world of good for our children in teaching them to appreciate what truly matters and not to rely on some form of entertainment to satisfy them.

10. Sponsor a Child

I’m extremely grateful for the many organizations that have come alongside families all over the world living in poverty. It is a tremendous blessing to be able to help these children and families in some small way. To us the sacrifice seems quite small, but to them it genuinely means the world.

If you haven’t done so already (and are financially able) I encourage you to get your family involved in sponsoring a child. Then research that country- what kind of food they eat, typical living conditions, forms of employment, favorite national sports, etc.

Encourage you children to write (or draw/color pictures etc.) to your sponsored child and develop a friendship with them. Send them photos of your family. Ask them questions and get to know them.

The heartbreaking reality of seeing the struggles these families endure can’t help but fill our own hearts with gratitude and a desire to help in any way we can.  

11. Create a DIY Kids Gratitude Journal

A few years back my husband and I began encouraging one another through a couple’s gratitude journal. That journal was more of a blessing than either of us realized at the time.

Writing down what we are grateful for has a way of stopping us in our tracks while forcing us to take a step back to see the bigger picture in life. Encouraging our children to write down something they are grateful for each day may have a bigger impact on them than you suspect.

Our hearts were created to show appreciation. Thinking upon and writing down what they are thankful for may open our children’s eyes to the blessings that surround them. I’d also encourage you to pray not only for, but also with your children. Thank God for these blessings and pray for those throughout the world that don’t have the luxuries that we do.

Related: WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT PARENTING?

12 HELPFUL WAYS TO PRAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN

How Do You Explain Gratitude To A Child?

To explain gratitude to our children we must lead by example while teaching them that the world doesn’t revolve around them (or us). We were created to serve each other. When our focus is taken off of ourselves we’re suddenly able to clearly see all of the blessings that surround us.

I’ll never forget my then five year old daughter’s response to the discipline she was going to receive for her recent misbehavior. My little lady has a huge heart, but also a will of iron that isn’t easily swayed by the majority of my husband and I’s disciplinary efforts. 

After brainstorming new ideas for her disobedience that day I finally had an epiphany! I couldn’t believe that I had never thought of this before. I looked her in the eyes and gently explained to her my plans. That evening I was going to go through her room and box up some toys, books, and clothes and give them away to children who would be more appreciative. That’ll do it! I thought. This is sure to open her eyes to the seriousness of the choices she makes.

As I waited for the tears to come and the weight of her actions to finally sink in she replied “you know what Mommy? That is a good idea. You should go ahead and give those things to children who would take better care of them and be more thankful”. Say what?!

This wasn’t exactly the response I had envisioned. She wasn’t being sassy, her big heart simply took over as she realized all that she had and how very little so many other children have. My stupendous idea didn’t exactly have the effect I thought it would, but she still learned something that day.

And so did I.

Being Thankful

Why do I tell you this story? For two reasons.

#1. As a whole, our nation has been incredibly blessed. We have clothes on our backs, food on the table, a comfy bed to sleep in, a vehicle for transportation, and extra toys or hobbies to enjoy for our entertainment. We live better than 98% of the rest of the world.

In fact even the poorest 20% of our population is still wealthier than the majority of the rest of the world. We have been given so much that we often begin to take the little things as well as the big things for granted. And although we would hate to admit it, sooner or later complacency sprouts in our hearts and we begin to expect the things that the rest of the world only dreams of.

#2. These gifts were never meant to take the place of the Giver. We’ve allowed the blessings we’ve been so graciously given to cloud our view of what is most important in life. Without ever realizing it we’ve conditioned our children to only be satisfied with an overabundance of things which were never ever meant to satisfy us in the first place.

Entitled children (or adults for that matter) will never be genuinely grateful. It simply doesn’t work that way.

I am sharing this with you because I have been there. In the busyness of life I am guilty of rushing about, expecting one thing after another and even becoming frustrated when things don’t go according to plan.

The culture around us will encourage this way of thinking for us and our children. It is up to us as parents to lovingly guard our children’s hearts and prepare them for the world around them with God at the center instead of ourselves.

To Teach Kids To Be Grateful We Must Pray

We are living in an entitled mindset society. The natural bent of our hearts is to think of ourselves first, and the pressures our children face to do so are much greater than anything we faced growing up.

To teach our kids to be grateful we need to consistently pray for wisdom as to how to best raise them in our self-centered culture.

We need to stay grounded in God’s Word as our ultimate authority and seek the wisdom of it’s pages.

God is in control and He hears our pleas for our children. Rest in His promises, sweet friend.